Modern Spirit · Spontaneous writing

Unstory: Like Wind

Annabel

Life happens in fragments, not stories.

It’s only when we decide that certain fragments should link together in a certain way and with certain transitions, a story is made.

In that sense, we are the playwrights of our own stories in which we gather the materials (life’s fragments), we decide the progressions (the order of the material presentations), we highlights the climax (much like picking a keynote speaker for a theme conference), we customise the transitions (so the story flows smoothly and logical to the audience), we embellish the details (to fit into a particular ethos, political agenda, cultural heritage, a classic love story, or a desired identity), and we end the story (with happiness, tragedy, nostalgia, regret, hope, mystery, open questions, or anything that we can think of).

This intuitive skill of story-making is deeply ingrained in human DNA and in everything we do because we are constantly seeking justification and a meaning to the life we are living. We hunger for some meaning, for some depth, and are dependent on the purpose of our existence. So, we love stories: finally, life is not as fragmented as it is, but something coherent and worth witnessing.

I would love to tell you a story about my life, in various ways and with infinite combining orders of volumes of fragments each time, much like how the constellations rearrange their cosmic positions each passing day and every time, they poke at your curiosity. But that is not my life, or yours, in its most authentic form.

Still, everyone loves a story: it is life’s sanctuary. A story has a comforting linear quality, like a materfully curated pearl necklace with each pearl carefully chosen and beautifully linked to form a presented unity. That unity alone is a solace and a celebration to life’s trials and tribulations.

Yet a story can’t shelter me from fragments, because sadly, I am not living in meanings, nor I am seeking truth. No, that is not how I operate. I am not curious about the world, life, universe, or people. I just need to sense, to feel, to experience, to expand. I need to sense everything without the burden of making sense of anything. I need to feel your love without questioning why. I need to write to you at this moment and feel your existence. I need you just as you need me. It has no why, no how, no truth. It simply is, and that’s more than enough.

The stories are irrelevant, only the fragments matter to me: in between them – I can pause, I can move on, move back, move forward, move sideways, move in circle, in rectangle, in triangle, in square; I can show up now and disappear tomorrow; I can fly high and far, and then land on your shoulders when I rest; I can let us frozen in time and space, uncategorised and undefined.

You should have known by now, I am a character who is unable to compartmentalise life’s fragments into a conventional role: the stories they told me were uninspiring and unconvincing after all…

So I dance like wind: unclaimed, unattainable, untouchable, undefinable, and unbound. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s even beautiful…

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Short essay/Verses by @Annabel

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Published by Annabel

Just a woman who writes her heart out, unapologetically……

25 thoughts on “Unstory: Like Wind”

  1. It is hard when people want to impose their expectations or their image of you onto you.

    It’s a blessing to know there is more to life than classification. And why stop at beauty? To be able to throw off the expectation of linearity is beyond the scope of what the word can convey. Fly onwards and higher Annabel; you are the aspiration of millions of years of stardust wandering empty space lucky enough to find themselves within this curious but delightful amalgamation called existence. 🙂

    Be well and joyful! MIke

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    1. Your words are more than kind and beautiful, Mike! Thank you, for the depth of understanding, the affirming echos, and the encouragement. 🍀 I always feel there’s much more to this life we came to live than blindly fulfilling a story and conforming to a linear timeline.

      Sending positive Spring vides to your way! 🌻

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      1. and you are absolutely right Annabel. everyone has a right to decipher their journey and take all of what it has to offer – even if the journey goes out of established lines. but we cannot and should not clip anyone’s wings to satisfy dogma.

        thank you for the spring vibes! sending some backk to you from New Jersey! Mike

        Liked by 1 person

  3. A lovely and thought provoking essay Annabel, I like it 😊. As humans, we have a tendency to see patterns in everything. Not only does it give us comfort but in many ways it makes our lives easier. If we weren’t able to see the forest for the trees, then it would be very difficult for us to make sense of anything. Of course, sometimes we have a tendency to see patterns (generate stories?) when there isn’t really anything there, or we like to think that some mysterious playwright is directing our own life plays.

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    1. Thank you for commenting and sharing your insights, my friend! ☺️ I think you are absolutely right on your inputs on patterns. Seeing the forest is nice, but I am content to just sit beside a tree and see where tomorrow leads 😂. Some people love breaking sense, not making sense. It took me years to understand my quirks, haha.

      Hope you are enjoying whatever season is there in New Zealand! 🍀(autumn ?)

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      1. Trying to make sense of everything can be headache inducing so there is merit in going with the flow, or as a friend of mine says, “embracing the chaos”.

        Yes it is autumn now. Currently it is great. Clear skies with calm days, and cooler nights (which also makes sleeping better). It’s ideal for outdoor activities like hiking as the days are still reasonably long, but not too hot. 😊. How’s the spring there? Is it beautiful? Don’t you have a “spring break” in the US or something?

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      2. Oh how nice! NZ is a world of its own ☺️. Spring break is over and I am back to work tomorrow ( hanging out with new students )😜😎.

        Enjoy the calm autumn in the island 🏝️!

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  6. Hi Annabel! Glad to hear you are enjoying your time with your new students -they look enthusiastic to receive your wonderful guidance.

    How are you, yourself, doing?? I want to at least ask as I’m sure you’re always looking out for the people closest in your life.

    I hope you are enjoying this late spring season! Be healthy and safe! Mike

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    1. You are very kind to leave me such delightful message, Mike! 😃 I am doing fabulous and have been on campus a lot lately. Thank you for asking!

      How’s life treating you lately? Stay charming and cool! 😎🥂

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      1. 😀 hehe! yup – just wanted to make sure someone was asking for you. life is quiet and peaceful now so I’m very thankful for that. am looking forward to keeping it quiet for the remainder of the warm months! take care and see you on your next post! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for such generous gift, Phil! 😃 I feel very blessed by your kindness and the beautiful poem. Sending much gratitude from the West Coast and wishing you endless joys daily, my friend! 🍀🌻

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      1. You’re very welcome, dearest Annabel! The pleasure is mine, and you make it easy for me to express deep appreciation for your friendship & extraordinary beauty.

        Thank you for sharing your poetry, inspiration, and a smile more pleasant than any! Cheers to you 🥂😇💐

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