Modern Spirit · Spontaneous writing · The Letters

The Next Portal

Annabel 
So you want to start over? 

Good!

There is another universe somewhere, around the corner, where the roses grow as tall as you and their thorns are as sharp as your kitchen knives.  Open the back door, take a right, and follow the lead of the thorny roses.  Keep going through the thickets of alternate educations, hike through the heartbreaks, clamber the rocky family affairs, until you reach the transfer station, where you might find the portal for the next galaxy. 

You will know you have arrived when you begin to breathe more easily and pay attention to the shyest stars.  You will notice that even the tiniest star that hides behind the thickest clouds will shine and gently light up the dark sky, and what about you?  You are also endowed with that sparkling quality, a sweet warmth that softens life's harshest face.  And one day, you will become someone's unwavering faith in that "another" universe, collecting and vacuuming out those ancient dusts from their weary souls.  

You will learn to be careful in handling hearts this time, yours and theirs.  It is a delicate art.  You must be wise in directing your gazes, moving your hands, and composing your words.  You will know when to fight and when to stop.  You will be kinder and gentler.  But before anything of these prudence can be properly instilled, you must first cross the star-river in front of you to embrace the higher version of yourself, with relentless passion and unstoppable marching.   

Look at your own reflection by the star-river, revel in this feeling of serenity, and think of the one once wounded you and led you astray to the new portal: the aloof rose outside of your back door with a full coat of thorns, as sharp as your kitchen knives.  And why should you be so surprised by the sweet pain?  A true rose must have thorns, for the more beautiful and fragrant she is, the more vulnerable she is to the unsolicited approaches and wicked desires of a turbulent world.  

Just listen to the darkness in its silent melody and observe the breeze kissing each summery leaf.   Moonlight would have dried your tears and sheltered your fears.  But you know there is no real danger in moving forward and climbing higher, even after you have imagined the falls thousands of times in your worst nightmares. 

You must cross to the other side of the star-river to embrace the better version of yourself and you must dive deep into the bottomless ocean to discover the unknown courage.  This "another" universe is not as big and crowded as you think: only two unicorns.  The passing breeze will calm you down as you swing by and caress you in its earnest cool embraces.  

All unfinished dreams are still there for you to manifest, all regrets can be fixed, all your desires are desiring you.  You did not actually miss out on anything.  The past and the memory are a part of your epic journey and every sensation of yours has its profound meaning.  They are there to teach you how to start over and how to be a better lover, even if that love once ebbs and flows wildly in storms.   

 See you again or never in another universe, my unicorn. 

Your choice. 
It's over.  I left the saga and you take care. (7/25/2024)

Poet’s Journal

I am taking my time, enjoying life and myself. Just that, makes me content everyday.

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Published by Annabel

Just a woman who writes her heart out, unapologetically……

42 thoughts on “The Next Portal”

  4. Those are some harsh words from your father, I don’t know how I would have reacted to that. My dad has said some silly things too though. Did your father pass away at a younger age? That can’t have been easy.

    Another nice poem and good photos my lovely friend.

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  6. Your photos are so beautiful Annabel! A peaceful and natural contentment. Lovely. Just in from dance class, I am going to read your post in the morning with a cup of tea. I delight in the thought of it, knowing your writing is always moving. 🦋🙏🏻

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    1. WOW, Thank YOU, dear Michele! Hope the dance class was inspiring and fulfilling! What kind of dance are you practicing? 💖

      The photos were actually taken by strangers who had asked to take some photos of me and promised not post online (only wanted to draw). I complied and also requested the photos from them. 🤪

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      1. Kind strangers make the day brighter. 🥰 Dancing is always inspiring and fulfilling – at home, in a class, through a park… 💃🏼 (they need to create a dancing emoji with silver hair haha). My dance class combines many elements, including some physically challenging acrobatics. 💪🏻 Thank you for asking, and for writing. 💖

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      2. Good morning, dear Michele! I couldn’t agree more on your input in practicing dance 💃🏻. Silver hair is beautiful 🌻😇. Your dance class sounds to be innovative and spirited (perhaps not a conventional concert dance style, more athletic then 😃).

        Enjoy every step on the floor and you are a true treasure! 💖

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      3. Good afternoon now, thank you Miss Annabel for your comment and for your moving prose that I printed because one read was definitely not enough! Athletic most definitely, and graceful and sensual. A beautiful experience. Dancing keeps the body and spirit young. 🥰 Wishing you lovely weekend. 💖

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      4. Oh my, thank YOU so much dear Michele and happy that you liked the prose! 💖 I just got back from my full weekend teacher’s training on the dance/movement therapy and totally resonate with your comments on dance.

        Looking forward to reading you more on dance and beyond! 🌻💃🏻

        Liked by 1 person

      5. How exciting! I hope that you share more. I did an 8-hr training on that concept last year with an organization based out of LA. Many benefits to dance. Exciting to see how helpful it is with those with cognitive disabilities as well as dementia and Alzheimer’s. And of course the healing benefits of dance when it comes to grief, depression or countless other things that humans deal with. Thank you for the comment. 🌷

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      6. How lovely to converse with like-minded souls! We are on the same page, dear Michele! 💖 Two more months of intensive training on the subject for me this summer.

        Thank you for sharing your experience and maybe we can collaborate in some ways down the road! 😃💃🏻

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  10. This eloquent post speaks to me – and I think, to many – on a very personal level. I hope you have found and taken the door to your new and untouched universe. I know what it means to have found that new and pristine beauty. What I didn’t realize was that I would have to defend that purity so vigorously that it would alienate those I otherwise thought would be happy for me. I think it’s so accurate you would include a rose in your universe – how else would it have naturally come about to its beauty without the awareness of beings that would aim to despoil it.

    a brief side-note; something tangential and perhaps something of use, I read this fascinating phrase the other week: “if an enemy puts sugar into your drink, you’ll be ok but if a friend puts poison in your drink, you will be poisoned. in the end, you must always watch your drink”. I found that to be unexpectedly profound.

    If you have stepped into your new universe, I hope you are happily settled into it. Moreover, I wish you well in defending such a peace as I can sense it is meaningful to you as a place you can live to your own standards of creativity and kindness. Finally, because I’m in danger of falling into the definition of unsolicited approaches :), I will take a most respectful, most understanding distance in the way you do with others – a courtesy that is so underrated in this age. I will admire that beautiful prose you wrote like a distant and bright celestial constellation.

    Mike

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    1. You are simply awesome, Mike! Thank you for leaving me this beautiful comment, one that propels much thoughts and introspection. I’m happy to know that this post has resonated with you, and you are far from “unsolicited approaches” with your gentle kindness.

      To share a bit more of my current state, I indeed have stepped into my new universe and rebelled against all that no longer served me (such as draining relationships and connections, envious friends, and wrong career paths). I greatly resonate with your remarks about “defend that purity”. I used to struggled on defending that purity and was always willing to give those who were close to me “a benefit of doubt” (even after seeing many red flags). But then, I was reminded by the teaching of Jiddu Krishnamurti, in which he declared that freedom must be initiated by a revolution. And “if you care so much about what others think and react, how much you will cause those around you dislike and distance you, you are not revolting at all”.

      Your side-note is particularly insightful into the fact that only those who are close to us have the access to truly poison us and the ability to trap us for years or even lifetimes.

      Wishing you (my fellow kindred soul) a life of abundance, fulfilment, and total freedom! Know that I truly appreciate you and am thankful for your presence on my blog, Mike! 🍀

      Warmly,
      Annabel👩🏻‍🦰

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      1. Annabel,

        I’m so pleased to hear of your progress. Your struggles only highlight how caring and intentional you are for everyone. Those who you choose to call a friend are very fortunate! And thank you for that Krishnamurti quote, I’m going to write that down!

        Thank you very much for the positive wishes. I am also sending positivity and good fortune your way. Many blessings to you! Enjoy the remainder of the summer! 🙂

        Sincerely,
        Mike

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      2. Thank YOU, Mike!

        Your kind words and wishes are received and greatly appreciated 😃. How lovely to have connected and conversed with you!

        And likewise, may your summer days are filled with immense fortune and sunshine!🍀🥳

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Yours is one of the brightest lights I’ve known, dear Annabel. Talented, inspirational and most beautiful, I wish for you a blessed and prosperous new year! All the best, my friend 🌷

    Like the North Star
    Or, Pleiades
    On a pristine winter’s night

    Pathways forward
    Shining for you
    Draw your love into the light

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    1. Oh, so delighted to hear from you and happy 2025, Phil! It’s been a while since I last logged in to my blog, and your kind words actually brought me back 😃.

      So beautiful and touching was your poem to me! Thank you for reminding me all the good things I’ve got and I’m grateful for you, Phil. 👩🏻‍🦰🌻 Saving every line!

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      1. The delight is mine as well, dear Annabel, as it’s been quite a while since last we shared this space, yours and mine, and I’ve missed you! 🌻

        So glad you like the poem I wrote for you, my friend. As always, your words and lovely smile continue to brighten my day. 🤗 Thank you!

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