She could be in my dreams or a yellow-paged painting, the smallest girl staring from afar with her freckled cheeks, her sun-burned face red as ripe tropical lychees, her hands always hide behind blue chiffon curtains for she never tells you what she thinks, but her heart pounding hard in rhythmic sonata On Christmas,cold and unfeeling. She could be out of that painting when other girls all dancing with wild abandonment with a Bacchanalian choir, Her feet awkward, stepping back in silence and observe, and that's the exact moment you will notice her round face, her bright gaze penetrating and you've asked yourself why. But now you must forgive her stubborn and ferocious ways, her little capriciousness in all except the love for you. And if it pleases you to know that, my dear, Her time has come and we must not stand in her ways.
It seems like I only do bold things these days and challenge those who treated me less than I deserve rather ruthlessly. Just a few days ago, Jillian ( a great mentor and friend of mine) reminded me to take a pause and reflect all the accomplishments for there have been many.
When meeting with my advisor two days ago, he commented kindly that we were “a very good match” in a mentor-mentee arragement. Interestingly, that comment related me back to a snapshot of my early life:
I was alone on a bus to my ballet class at a heavy raining night as a small girl and had no idea why I was so stubbornly persistent on taking that class when it was most inconvenient to me. Back then, the city I lived in was very culturally/artistically backward with only one mediocre ballet teacher in town and I had to travel two hours back and forth on bus in order to take that class. I had very limited, if non-existent, resources and family support to advance my talent. It looked like I was indeed the last person to ever make it in dance. I weeped alone often for I knew too well that the hope was slim for me. But today, I study under the biggest name in dance scholarship, who had co-created the field of ‘dance studies’ in higher education at doctoral level. One of the reasons I chose to come to Philly was that I won an ‘extraordinary advising award’ to study/research under my current advisor’s supervision months before I came.
I might not have earned all the bright awards yet, but I know I’m now on an accelerated track and dark days are over for good. Taking a moment to pause from work today, I would like to celebrate myself a bit and thank to that small girl who was on the bus and who showed up every each time for me🌻🥳!
Dear friends, anything can be accomplished with the sheer force of our willpower…