Today, 
I heard a song makes me insecure.
Today,
I saw a post triggers me insane.
A date,
the meaningful remembrance for blessed many,
and,
the dreadful reminiscence for selected few.

Perhaps, selected by God,
or volunteered before birth.
But, it makes no difference,
Hell was waiting....

I did not know what hell look like,
but my tiny head reckoned that
as long as I don’t share a roof with her,
Hell must be a better place,
So,
I ran away....to find Hell
Me in hell today

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Read Next: I’m Over Ms.Hope

Read More: Empty Notebook

Posted by:Annabel

Just a woman who writes her heart out, unapologetically……

9 replies on “Me, Today

  1. Interesting poem, though leaves you with this troubled feeling, which is a good thing, and I’m sure the intention. Only a small point, is the line ,’I did not know what hell look like’ supposed to be ‘look’ or ‘looks’

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    1. Great point! I actually considered about this when I was writing. Although couldn’t find clear grammar reference to it, I decided to use ‘ look’ instead of ‘looks’ intuitively. 😅😃 hope some editors could give some feedback on this. Pls let me know how you think it should be🙏

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      1. It’s a little tricky because of the tenses. In four places in the poem you’ve switched between present & past. Now the problem is that while poetry is all about breaking rules, the consensus seems to be that this is a rule you should be very wary of breaking, because it can confuse and distort meaning, but like all poetry, I would read it through in the different forms then go with your gut instinct. It should always feel right to the poet!

        Personally, I feel that below is my preference;

        Today,
        I heard a song, made me insecure.
        Today,
        I saw a post, triggered me insane.
        A date,
        the meaningful remembrance for blessed many,
        and,
        the dreadful reminiscence for selected few.

        Perhaps, selected by God,
        or volunteered before birth.
        But, it makes no difference,
        Hell was waiting….

        I did not know what hell looked like,
        but my tiny head reckoned that
        as long as I didn’t share a roof with her,
        Hell must be a better place,
        So,
        I ran away….to find Hell

        Like

      2. Wow, bravo 👏. I like your edited version very much. However, I will leave the original one as how it is, so other readers can read both and feel the difference themselves. 😃

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  2. As a general rule, the tenses can be mixed only if following a logical progression , but not if they happen at the same time. So I can’t say ‘he stood up and waves to me ‘….

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  3. So you could say ‘‘I hear a song makes me insecure’ or ‘ I heard a song that makes me insecure’, and ‘I heard a song, makes me insecure’ but ‘I heard a song makes me insecure’ might be a bit borderline. I’ve got no problem with it, but others might think it bad grammar!

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    1. Grammar has always been my weakness ! Pls let me know if you spot any more down the road😁🥂. I appreciate this kind of conversation very much🙏

      Like

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